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Very Married

Field Notes on Love and Fidelity
Very Married

By author: Katherine Willis Pershey
Product Code: 00172
ISBN: 9781513800172
Pages: 224
Binding Information: Paperback / softback
Size: 8.50 x 5.50 inches

Publication Date: 9/27/2016

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Katherine Willis Pershey has never slept with the mailman or kissed an ex-boyfriend. Good thing, since she’s married. But simply not committing adultery does not give you the keys to “happily ever after,” as Pershey has come to find out in her own marriage and in her work as a pastor. What is this sacred covenant that binds one person to another, and what elements of faith and fidelity sustain it? In Very Married: Field Notes on Love and Fidelity, Pershey opens the book on all things marital. With equal parts humor and intelligence, Pershey speaks frankly about the challenges and consolations of modern marriage. As she shares her own tales of bliss and blunder, temptation and deliverance, Pershey invites readers to commit once again to the joyful and difficult work of cherishing another person. For better or worse. For life.

Free downloadable study guide available here.

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  • Foreword by Eugene H. Peterson
  • Author’s Note
  • 1. Wander as I Wonder
  • In Want of a Husband
  • The Binding That Bound Us
  • If I Knew Then
  • Needing the Vows
  • Homeward Crawl
  • Blessing upon Blessing
  • All the Miracles
  • Long Obedience
  • For Those Who Meant Forever
  • Flunking Ephesians 4:26
  • With My Body, I Thee Worship
  • The Same Choice
  • Memento Mori
  • There is Mercy
  • The Hem of Joy’s Garment
  • When Justice Rolls Down
  • Yoked to Another Family
  • Subject to One Another
  • Very Married
  • Epilogue
  • Acknowledgments
  • Notes
  • The Author

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Review: Midwest Book Review - February 10, 2017

“A lively, thoughtful, and thought-provoking read from beginning to end. . . . Exceptionally well-written, organized, and presented, making it very highly recommended for personal reading lists and community library collections.”

Review: Publisher's Weekly - September 19, 2016

In her second book, pastor and writer Pershey (Any Day a Beautiful Change) weaves together personal stories of the triumphs and tribulations of her own marriage, theological reflections on this ancient institution, and practical advice for both newlyweds and not-so-newlyweds alike. Witty, candid, and heartfelt, this book covers topics such as maintaining a healthy sex life and dealing with in-laws with a refreshing energy. Pershey’s love and respect, for both her husband and the covenant of marriage, is evident on every page. However, she does not shy away from discussing the sometimes heart-wrenching, sometimes dull daily labor that marriage requires. With poignant and relatable honesty, she confesses to difficult times with her faith and fidelity: an almost-affair, her struggles with codependency and her husband’s alcoholism, and her marriage’s rough first few years. This is a book that celebrates the hard work of marriage and that makes readers believe marriages “can be saved, and that marriage as an institution can be redeemed.” It is a book that is sure to become part of the premarital counseling canon, passed among friends, and opened whenever “for better or for worse” is put to the test.

Review by: Glennon Doyle Melton, New York Times bestselling author of Carfry On, Warrior and Love Warrior - August 10, 2016

“Marriage is beautiful and brutal. Marriage is brutiful. Katherine tells the truth about marriage. I am so grateful for Katherine’s wise, brave voice and her important work in the world.”

Review by: Keith Graber Miller, professor of Bible and religion, Goshen College - August 10, 2016

“Without question, this is the most authentic, most engaging, most truthful book I’ve ever read about love and marriage. I intend to borrow shamelessly from this book for future premarital counseling and wedding meditations.”

Review by: Eugene Peterson, author of The Message - May 11, 2016

Very Married is, without question, the very best book on marriage I have ever read—and I have read many.”—from the foreword

Review by: Sarah Bessey, author of Jesus Feminist and Out of Sorts - May 11, 2016

“The book we have all been waiting for: hopeful, inclusive, practical, theological, honest talk about the complex sacrament of marriage.”

Review by: Seth Haines, author of Coming Clean - May 11, 2016

“I’ve read my fair share of marriage books, but few are as deft in their storytelling or as honest in their reflection as Very Married. Pershey has written an extraordinary book.”

Review by: Amy Becker, author of Small Talk and A Good and Perfect Gift - May 11, 2016

“Witty, engaging, honest, thoughtful, funny, wise, nuanced, gracious. I could go on. I will read this book more than once. I will give it to many friends.”

Review by: Kelly Flanagan, licensed clinical psychologist and author of The Marriage Manifesto - May 11, 2016

“What Pershey has accomplished here is mysterious and sublime. Prepare to fall in love with marriage all over again, or perhaps, even, for the first time.”

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